Gossip Girl Recap: Season 5 Episode 5 – The Fasting And The Furious

Here is tonight’s Gossip Girl recap:

After last week’s Dan Humphrey drama, everyone is onto new challenges.

Blair and Louis reveal their big news to their families. Their congratulations don’t really feel genuine. Louis’ mother Sophie and sister Beatrice secretly want control over the future heir to the throne. Sophie wants to regulate everything about the baby’s future including where it will be born.

Meanwhile, Serena, Rufus and Nate are still ignoring Dan. Only Serena has to put her anger on hold to get the movie deal to his book. Dan’s agent has her sights set on bigger directors. In his first television interview, Dan ignores Serena’s request and does some name dropping to get the buzz up.

Blair rushes to Serena’s side for help while the drama is kicking off in the office. It seems like neither of these girls has time for each other anymore. Serena ignores Blair making Blair think its time to move on from the Upper East Side. Don’t they know that by the end of the episode they will be hugging? She tells Louis she will move to Monaco to be with his family. Gasp! No Blair Waldorf in NYC! Although this decision could be showing real maturity in Blair, Louis questions her decision as well. What will the city (and gang) do without her schemes? There is no way she will leave so easily.

At this point, Princess Sophie goes a little crazy. She demands Blair signs a legal document regarding the future heir. The rules are outrageous, Blair is practically never allowed to leave the palace with her child. If she breaks the rules she loses the child. It comes out that it was all Beatrice’s idea, but Sophie threatens Louis’ place on throne if he refuses to agree. I almost want to cheer when Louis tells his mother what’s what and says goodbye. The Princesses aren’t going to leave it there.

Serena plays dirty and spreads the rumour that she got the rights to the book making others drop out. This doesn’t really make sense. In reality, the rumour should have made bidding even hotter. Instead apparently it ruins Dan’s chances. Serena gets caught quickly and admits it to Dan. She turns on the waterworks and tells Dan he was the love of her life and the book broke her heart. Oh no, not this again. I don’t know if I can stand another Dan and Serena hook up and break up.

While all of this is going on, Charlie is starting her first day as a blackmailed journalist working for Diana Payne. Gossip Girl steals Diana’s thunder by revealing that she stole everyone’s cell phone. This puts the new scandalous website on hold. Diana is ready to use Charlie and Nate to get a juicy story. While the kids get hunting, Diana heads to the Waldorf house in hopes of getting some dirt. The Van der Woodsen’s also head to the party leaving Charlie (and a very distraught Nate) to crack into their safe to steal those old files that Bart Bass made up on them. Nate has a change of heart in stealing the Van der Woodsen’s dirty laundry, but not Charlie. Diana launches the website with the scoop on the royal families big break up.

Diana says she won’t be using any of the stolen dirt, but she does hold on to something. What could it be? It’s a picture of Diana herself in Bart Bass’ file. Diana burns the picture, but why the heck was she in there? What does she have to hide and how is she connected to their family?

Chuck is back to his old ways when he meets a sexy psychiatrist at the dog park. Chuck tries to woo the Doctor, but instead she tells him exactly who he is. It’s a bit harsh for a guy who is just trying to buy her love. Why is it that no one is ever nice to Chuck? After a bit of thinking though, Chuck realizes that he needs help.

Of course in the end, everyone hugs it out (as expected). Louis is the only one not smiling. He found the paternity test which Blair ripped up and he calls no other than Chuck’s lady doctor friend to get some help. I wouldn’t put it passed Blair to be lie, but I was just starting to like Louis.

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[Photo via The CW]

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